Celebs, Hot Celebrities, Celebrity Pictures

Party girl Paris Hilton flashing her nipple at some party in Las Vegas.

Katie Price and Paris Hilton meet up at the re-opening of Movida nightclub in London the other night.

I can't think of any more annoying than this pair - let's hope this isn't a lasting friendship.

Paris Hilton has bought herself a London home – a converted Victorian brothel and former gin palace that reports say still has some of it's former vice accessories, such as metal joists, still in place.

The house has a pretty sordid past, much like it's new owner. It was a hideout for murderers, an opium den and of course a 19th Century brothel.

Does Paris intend to go all the way and turn it into a 21st century whorehouse?

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Here's sexy Paris Hilton lookalike Natalie Reid all glammed up on the set of the Wayans Brothers' "Snowflake."

Natalie was beside herself as she was bestowed the superstar treatment on the set. She had her own trailer, a stand-in and even fans asking her for her autograph.

Natalie told a close friend, "The shoot went amazing today; the Wayans Brothers liked me so much: they kept giving me more lines!"

As you can see from her on set pictures, Natalie definitely rains on Paris Hilton's parade in the looks dept - now most of you would have Paris ahead of Nat but that's only because you think she's a dirty slut who'd ride you all day long. Now no one is saying she won't - it's just that your tool might fall off two days later with all the STDs you might catch.

Paris Hilton was planning on doing some crap in Rwanda, but now she's backing out for some reason. Yah, I'm right on top of this.

People was issued this statement: "Due to the restructuring of the Playing for Good Foundation, the philanthropic trip to Rwanda that the foundation had previously planned with Paris Hilton has been postponed. Paris has been a loyal and gracious supporter of Playing For Good but the foundation has to regrettably reschedule this trip. Playing for Good would like to thank Ms. Hilton for her generosity and her continued support of this initiative and is looking forward to rescheduling the trip with her at a later time."

Paris Hilton volunteering is like me winning a best kisser contest. I know the competition can be tuff at times, but I always have a trick up my sleeve. The tornado tongue is always a winner, baby!

I guess even the Germans hate Paris, because they have decided to ban her from this years Oktoberfest.

The Sun UK reports: Locals were outraged when the socialite, 26, arrived at the beer festival in plaits and traditional Bavarian dress to advertise a brand of canned wine.They accused organizers of selling out and making the event, which kicks off again this weekend, look shabby. Munich tourism chief Gabriele Weishaeupl announced yesterday that celebrity promotions “are completely prohibited by the new festival rules”.

I'm pretty sure we can let the Germans off the hook for the whole "kill every Jew on earth" thing. Now that I think about it, the Jews did have it coming. Showing off with their neat little hats, and not celebrating Christmas.

If you've been thinking to yourself, "hmm.. my daughter is slutty, but I feel she could eat more penis," then today is your lucky day. Paris Hilton introduced her new clothing line for kids yesterday, and it's as classy as you would expect. I think it would be safer to see children dress up in Nazi uniforms.

This may be hard to believe, but Paris Hilton was caught reading about herself again. Oh, I know. I couldn't believe it when I first saw these pictures. I even had my scientist friends make sure they weren't a fake, then I ate a submarine sandwich.

Paris Hilton's super-whore behavior has finally caught up with her, and I don't mean the crabs. She has been cut out of the will.

News.com confirms: Family patriarch Barron Hilton was already embarrassed by his granddaughter's wild behavior - notably when her home sex video was leaked on the internet.But the 79-year-old considered her 23-day sentence last month the last straw, a Hilton biographer says. "He was, and is, extremely embarrassed by how the Hilton name has been sullied by Paris," says (a source). "He now doesn't want to leave unearned wealth to his family."Barron Hilton, the only member of the family left with a sizeable stake in the huge hotel chain, has let it be known that he intends to donate the $2.4 billion he will gain from this month's sale of the company to the Conrad N. Hilton Foundation, the charity set up in the name of the founder of the family business.

This may have made my day. I could get a phone call that my mom was eaten by sharks, and I'd still have a smile on my face.

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It looks like Paris Hilton will get a chance to fail again at her music career because she is making a second album. The first one was considered a disaster and produced no real hits, but somehow she managed to get a second chance. (cough-blow jobs)

She said: "I'm already working on my new record. I've been in meetings with Scott [Storch] and we've been working on it."

Word on the street is she's taking a bunch of singing lessons and taking everything "very serious." But it doesn't matter. Teaching Paris to sing is like teaching a gorilla to have proper etiquette at a tea party. How exactly? I'm not sure, tea is for pussies.

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Most surfers are pussies, so I'm not surprised that Paris Hilton is involved in such a stupid activity. But she obviously brings her work ethic to the water. Is it even still considered surfing if you're just sitting on still water? Isn't it floating? Practice, practice, practice. That's what my Kung Fu teacher taught me. "Your legs will never be nicknamed death and destroyer if you don't practice," he'd tell me.

Lindsay Lohan is now the front runner to play all around whore bag Paris Hilton in a movie about her life.

A source told Britain's Daily Mail newspaper: "There have already been negotiations with a major film company to make the Paris Hilton biopic with Lindsay Lohan playing Paris - with Britney Spears singing the soundtrack." The source added, "Paris was on cloud nine. Rather than talking remorsefully about her time inside, she seemed energised by her plans to capitalise on her experience."

The reality is that this will most likely never happen, because the source is probably a talking squirrel named Randolph. I'm sure his desire is only surpassed by his work ethic, but he's still just a squirrel. Almost in the same way that I'm "just a model." I can't change that.

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Only days after being released from jail, Paris Hilton decided to take a trip to Hawaii. The only problem is nobody can find out where she is. She has a wig on. And a hat. Yah, great disguise. She would be just as successful if she set off fireworks wherever she went. Whore.

During Paris Hilton's first post jail interview, she got totally stumped by Larry King. Asking Paris her favorite bible passage is like asking a pedophile the last time he banged a girl over 12.

After only serving 23 days in jail, the LA County Sheriffs department released Paris a little after 12am this morning.

TMZ says: The heiress was released from prison shortly after midnight on Tuesday. Law enforcement sources tell TMZ that Paris lost nearly 10 pounds during her stay, and that on her way out of jail, she stopped to change clothes in a public restroom that "smells rancid." As Paris Hilton made her way out of Lynwood, she shook a few hands and hugged a few deputies before jumping into her parents' waiting SUV. Once inside the car, Paris rolled down the window and waved to the photogs and she couldn't stop smiling! She gushed, "I'm great ... Thank you for your support."

Now maybe we can all move on with our lives. I'm actually shocked this moron didn't try to drive herself home drunk. Seriously, I've seen more brains in a hairdresser. Well.. maybe not.

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You can add Jack Osbourne to the millions that have hollowed out Paris Hilton. The source is his parents, so who knows what these retards have in mind.

Ozzy said: “Paris was always hanging around our house. I’m not sure if she was a friend of KELLY or AMY — which one was it, Sharon?” Sharon replied with: “She was Jack’s, erm, friend.” Ozzy’s jaw dropped and he exclaimed: “He didn’t shag her, did he? Well done, my son!”

I can't say I'm surprised at this. Paris would have sex with a ant-eater if it showed enough interest. The girl's hand shake probably involves her mouth on your penis. And I doubt she's ever heard of a condom, because she's "clean."

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One thing you can learn from the sissies at Lynwood is that Paris Hilton runs shit. According to one inmate that served time with her, she's the "top dog." Apparently she wears make-up and pink polka dot prison scrubs rather than the orange suit. Since Paris has been there, inmates claim the food has even improved

Soraya said: "They are thankful. The whole facility is benefiting from this - they are feeding us better and releasing us earlier because they don't want people around her."

Besides being a hardened street thug, I'm also an expert in Psychology. I really forgot what I was going to say, so just know that your prison is a joke is Paris is the "top dog." That's like me winning a small penis contests. Or a ugly smile tournament.

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Paris Hilton was finally released from the Twin Towers medical facility yesterday and returned to Lynwood Detention Center. Hopefully this super bitch won't find another way out.

Yahoo says: "Around 11 p.m. Wednesday, she was returned to the Century Regional Detention Center in Lynwood, the women's prison where she had started out. A spokesmen would not elaborate on where in that facility the heiress was housed. When she began her 45-day sentence on June 3, she was confined to a solitary cell in a special needs unit away from other inmates."

The reality is that Paris is being kept in the medical wing of the facility, so it's still a joke. She isn't serving any real time. Not like me, anyway. I once did a 17 year bid for armed robbery, and people thought a sexy white boy like myself was just a bitch. But they didn't think that when I orchestrated the biggest escape in prison history. That's right, baby! Take that, Warden McCraney!

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Yah, so Paris was forced back in Jail. I didn't post about it right away because I figured the bitch would find another way to get out. She's like a damn super villain. But I was hoping she would be sentenced to wrestle an alligator. Or stick her head in a lion's mouth.

Paris Hilton was forced back into court this morning at 9am and may have to return to jail. When Paris was sentenced to 45 days in jail last May, the judge specifically ruled that Paris was not allowed any work release, furloughs, use of an alternative jail or electronic monitoring in lieu of jail. Regardless, Paris was set up with a electronic monitoring system. The city attorneys office will argue that the sheriff violated the judges orders.

The AP reported:"The celebrity inmate was sent home from the Los Angeles County jail's Lynwood lockup shortly after 2 a.m. in a stunning reduction to her original 45-day sentence. She had reported to jail Sunday night after attending the MTV Movie Awards in a strapless designer dress. She was ordered to finish her sentence under house arrest, meaning she could not leave her four-bedroom, three-bath home in the Hollywood Hills until next month. City Attorney Rocky Delgadillo complained that he learned of her release the same way as almost everyone else — through news reports. Then, late Thursday, he filed a petition questioning whether Sheriff Lee Baca should be held in contempt of court for releasing Hilton — and demanding that she be held in custody. Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer's decision to haul Hilton back to the courtroom came shortly after."

Hopefully this bitch is thrown into one of those prisons that is surrounded by an alligator moat and drawbridge. And the only way for her to escape is to pass three tests. Each test more dangerous than the previous.




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