Celebs, Hot Celebrities, Celebrity Pictures

Apparently girls in Russia only wear buttons around town, because that's how they dressed up Carmen in the new Russian FHM. I'm not sure if these communists are trying to send a secret message with their backwards letters, but it's really pissing me off. And these pictures aren't even sexy. It takes more than showing some cleavage to be sexy, just ask my modeling coach. My hair doesn't bounce because of my conditioner. It's the sexiness.

If your face didn't melt off from the awesomeness, go masturbate asap. Now.

Most people know that models are all looks and no brains (except for me), so it's not hard to believe that Carmen fell down walking a straight line. It's not like there was a curb or a dip in the road. It's just a walk-way, and she still can't fucking do it.

You know a girl is hot when you would be willing to push your mother down the stairs in order to sleep with her. And your mother is in a wheel chair. And has cancer. Brain cancer.! DUN DUN DUNNN!

Here's the thing. If you're going to impress people by giving money to a homeless person, at least make sure you have money in your damn hand. The blind homeless man may not know the difference, but I sure as hell do. And my therapist tells me I'm the most important person in this world. And I'm a great dresser with a knockout personality!