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Britney Spears and her husband Kevin Federline have named their second child Sutton Pierce, which is not only a gay name, but it's the same initials as their first child, Sean Preston. I'm sure Britney thinks this is cute, but it's embarrassing. Not only do these kids have to grow up with white trash father like Federfag, but now they get to have matching pink sweater vests.

I'm basically an expert on naming children, because I once found a baby rabbit and named him Herbert Humperdinkle. It was a big hit through the neighborhood. The guys saw me as a entrepreneurial genius, and the girls really saw me as a sweetheart. I loved the little guy, but I think he died or something. I can't remember, I was playing Nintendo I think.

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