Suri Cruise Is Going Public

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

After the constant speculation over whether or not Suri Cruise exists, Tom and Katie have promised to release photographs of their daughter very soon.

Cruise's spokesman said: "Cruise hasn't been reluctant at all. He and Katie will be making a decision about when to release the photographs of Suri shortly."

At this point it really doesn't matter to me if Suri Cruise exists. My attention span can only last about 30 seconds, and that's usually when I'm masturbating with grape jelly while high on catnip. I wouldn't be shocked if this baby had lobster claws for hands and cereal boxes as feet. It really doesn't matter anymore. Suri is as worthless as the next child.

BTW: I know the other night MSNBC announced they had the first video of Suri Cruise. It's a joke. Listen, even if that is Suri, a picture of her back doesn't count. Anyways, here's the sham video. You may want to fast forward this video to the end. The beginning is just a bunch of chatting.


Posted by Unknown at 8/09/2006  

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