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MSNBC is reporting that Madonna has already found a replacement for Britney Spears, and it is Lindsay Lohan. Madonna dumped Spears as a buddy because she failed to fully embrace Kabbalah and had returned to her Baptist roots. Now, Madonna has become very tight with Lindsay Lohan, sharing religious and professional tips with her.

An insider says: “Madonna’s giving Lindsay advice on her music career, and she wants to work on a film with Madonna, too!” The source says the two talk a few times a week and are planning a “spiritual journey” once Madonna’s current tour is over. The insider goes on to claim that “They’re going to visit the Holy Land."

I don't know why so many celebs are still jumping on the Kabbalah band wagon. I'm pretty sure when Jesus and Buddha are eating in the cafeteria, they point and laugh at Moses when he comes in, because he is such a key player in Kabbalah. They might even throw their sloppy joe's at him, especially if that lunch lady wasn't wearing gloves. Based on my theological research, Jesus mastubated to Mary Magdalene 4 times a day, and she was definitely into anal.