Bruce Willis Sleeps With Raccoons

Friday, June 23, 2006

Female First has confirmed that Bruce Willis trained for his latest movie by living with a family of raccoons.

He told Bang Showbiz: "I went out and lived with a family of them for about three months.Sadly it didn't really work out because I couldn't understand what they were trying to tell me. They kept giving me bits of pine bark and little pieces of tin foil. I tell you what I did like, and that was their little raccoon paws. When we'd fall asleep at night they'd come over and put their raccoon paws all over my face - that felt good."

Willis also revealed how he still keeps in touch with his new found friends. He explained: "There is one that still calls me, all hours of the night. I still can't understand what he's saying though."

Look, I don't know how much of this Bruce is joking about, and how much of this is true. But based on other stories I write about, it's probably 100 percent true. I have a team of court ordered therapists that I meet with 5 times a day in the clinic, and I believe that's best for Bruce too. They tell me I never was a pirate, astronaut, scuba diving assassin, or a snake. I tell them that's bullshit, I know what I did in my life. I'm an American hero boys.

Posted by Unknown at 6/23/2006  

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