Celebs, Hot Celebrities, Celebrity Pictures

8pm- Ryan Seacrest comes on and makes a random dick of his head. Talks about the two finalists, along with asking the judges what to do to win the contest.

The fat black judge, Randy, claims " it's now or never." Thanks dip shit. I didn't realize this was the final competition of American Idol.

8:05pm - They try to do some showy deal building up to the competition. They make a big deal about Katharine's voice, and why shouldn't they, she's fat, she has nothing else to offer. God I hope people let Taylor win.

8:10pm - Chris Daughtery shows up. Too bad he hasn't signed on with Fuel yet, than he could be just as cool as every other "hardcore" rockband that sold out. Katharine comes up on stage and starts singing. Her vocals are alright, but like I said before, it's hard to not consider pulling out a elephant gun on this land beast. The crowd appears to love her performance, but I can't get my eyes off of her cellulite ridden ass. Randy gives her a decent result. Paula claims there is "more and better of her," and Simon gave her "Good with a small 'g'. " I'm surprised someone would consider Katharine to have a small anything, but if it's anything, it's definitely that "g" for good.

8:15pm - Taylor starts his song. He is wearing some kind of "put a cock in my ass" purple vest. The kind of vest college kids with faded jeans would think was cool. Obviously, he is trying to win over the younger crowd, even with the Ric Flair hair. WOOOO.... The crowd goes really crazy for Taylor. Randy throws out some thug talk, saying things like "check it out yo," but he gave him props or whatever. Paula wants to bang him retarded and gets all wet. Simon rips on the jacket just like I did, saying it is "arguably the worst jacket he has ever seen." I get excited and tell my friends, they don't care because they are busy not watching American Idol. geniuses think alike I tell them. I got some new found respect for Simon.

8:20pm - Katharine sings "Over the rainbow." I'm not impressed, mostly because I wasn't born before 1960, so I am not interested in girls singing about fairy tales and candy canes. I take this time to call my mom and ask her to send me some money. She is drunk, so she decides this is a good idea. Randy says she "worked it out baby." Paula kinda rambles about her father, and Simon says "It was her best performance of the competition so far, and she is back in the game." Damn it Simon. Damnt it everyone. Can't someone throw a twinkie on stage for her or something. She needs to be stopped, one Kelly Clarkson is enough, nevermind a fatter, less talented version.

8:30pm - Taylor performs a Elton John song. Decent vocal, far from his best. Randy thinks it was too "pitchy," and the crowd "boos" Randy. Paula loves it as usual, because she is just looking to get laid after the show. Simon thinks it's not as good as the first round, and "at this point it's a tied ball game." Oh really? So you don't think I should just turn the show off and watch the results tommorrow? At this point, I am really trying to figure out what I am doing with my life. As I am "live blogging American Idol," my roomate, who is a former drug counselor, has decided to send pictures of his cock to all of his former underage students. Man, my life is exciting.

8:40pm - I was too busy trying to talk to some hot girl on myspace, so I didn't catch the song Katharine is singing, but I thought one of my friends changed the channel to some hippo wild life adventure. Sadly, that's just Katharine in a ugly blue dress. Randy decided she was "keepin it real." Paula gave her the usual bullshit. And Simon said "she went from brilliant to quite good, within one song." She really did suck ass in that round. Wow, I've heard lobsters in boiling water that sounded better than her.

8:50pm - Close -Taylor's last round... The judges love it. Simon claims "Assuming the show was tied, Taylor just won American Idol." Thank God, we can't have some low rent version of Kelly Clarkson win. If we want to see Katharine, we just need Kelly to gain 40 more pounds. Vote forTaylor people.