Celebs, Hot Celebrities, Celebrity Pictures

Jessica Simpson is currently staying busy promoting her new shoe line that was recently created. She figures she can bank in on little girls buying her expensive shoes, and guys like me buying them for sexual reasons. Nothing too crazy, just duck taping them to a pillow wrapped in a garbage bag. It's actually pretty sexy. Back to my point: The shoes are called Jessica Simpson Footwear. I know what your thinking, how could she have come up with a name like that? The shoes have been available at Nordstrom for months but the official launch has been delayed until now.


I'm not much of an expert on female shoes, except when I was forced to live at that lab in Sweden. The diabolical scientists forced me to use my mathematical mind to make perfect footwear. Up until then I just laid brick and did odd jobs. I was a hidden genius who was kept away from the real world, forced to live in a cave and educate myself. But now it has all changed, I write a website.

BTW: Those shoes are so ugly in picture one. Did a Jellyfish die on the top of it?