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Kate Moss' fiance, 28 year old singer Peter Doherty, attended a Midlands clinic yesterday to receive a new implant to help beat drugs. "The implant, a pellet containing naltrexone, will be inserted under the skin of Pete's stomach." Kate Moss did not accompany Doherty, as she is due to appear today in Topshop's flagship store in London's Oxford Street to promote her new fashion line. Doherty brought his cat "Dinger" (slang for "syringe) and a litter of kittens with him. The cat "recently gave birth to five kittens, and the singer has apparently been taking them everywhere with him."

Jesus Christ. If I was the doctor performing this procedure on Pete Doherty, I'd wear a full body condom and about 8 of those face masks. Then, afterwards, I'd take a bath in peroxide and scrub myself with steel wool. Then, of course, I'd insist all the nurses did the same. That would be the safe thing to do. Or maybe I'd just grab a mop and say "no speaka de english" when Pete was admitted.

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