Jessica Biel Is Probably Banging Derek Jeter
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Jessica Biel may have lowered her standards and actually banged a baseball player. Derek Jeter and Jessica Biel went out on Tuesday night to club Hyde.
Page six says: "According to our spy, the couple were huddled in a corner of hot club Hyde, laughing and giggling together. At one point, Jessica...went to the restroom and three girls quickly scurried over to chat with Jeter. But as soon as Biel returned, he put all his attention on her. The two left together. A Biel rep didn't return calls. "
As much as I hate baseball, and people that play baseball, it's pretty much a fact that these two had sex. That's the way Hollywood romances go, unlike mine. I usually have to steal the perfect girl away from an arrogant, varsity letter wearing jerk, who doesn't appreciate his relationship. She realizes that I'm the humble guy, who looks at her as a person instead of a sexual object. She loves that I volunteer at the animal shelter, and own Sleepless in Seattle. And I have a 20 pound penis!
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