Jessica Simpson Wants Johnny Depp

Friday, October 20, 2006

Jessica Simpson was extremely nervous when she met Johnny Depp, because she obviously wants his junk. Jessica always had a crush on him, but ended up embarrassing herself when she was introduced to him at the Teen Choice Awards.

She told The Rachel Ray Show: "I made a fool out of myself in front of Johnny Depp. Dane Cook and I hosted the Teen Choice Awards and Johnny made this surprise appearance and I was struck - like by lightening.I said all the wrong things and I ended up saying, OK, I'm going to shut up now and walk away. I said it right to his face and it was so embarrassing."

It's so wonderful that Jessica is a naive little girl who can't handle herself around older men, because that's the same thing high school girls pull on me. "I've had enough to drink," they tell me, but I know they really need a little extra to get comfortable. Considering their curfew always happens to be around 10pm, it's never a bad idea to have a few extra roofies with you. If you don't have roofies, bring a baseball bat. It does the same thing. Or a knife. A really big knife. Or just say you love them. It all works the same.


Posted by Unknown at 10/20/2006  

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