BREAKING NEWS: Kate Moss Wins Hat Wearing Contest
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Kate Moss has been officially named Britain's best hat wearer. She has been usually seen wearing a trilby - whatever the hell that is - and looks good in it, I guess.
A spokesman said: "Kate manages to wear the most elaborate and extravagant millinery designs with great confidence and aplomb and, most importantly, without the hat seemingly wearing her."
I would really wish I was one of these hat judges, so I can say things like, "without the hat seemingly wearing her." Call my crazy, but my guess is this makes the ladies wet. Seriously, this is why I hate Britain. Having a hat competition is like masturbating to a cartoon character. She obviously looks hot, but at the end of the day she's still a cartoon. And at the end of the day, a hat is nothing better than a fancy gym sock.
Source