Nicole Richie Has Low Standards

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Database is reporting that Nicole Richie is dating her childhood crush, Jeff Goldblum. Nicole admits that she had a crush on Jeff when she was 13 and always wanted to bag the star. If you don't remember who Goldblum is, he was in movies like The Fly, Jurassic Park, and Independence Day. The nerdy guy with the glasses that is 78 years older than her.

This really gets me mad for a few reasons, but I have to clear something up first. Nicole looks like she was spit out of the melting pot of Atlantis, and is far from attractive. Even though she isn't that hot, she is too hot for Jeff Goldblum. The guy doesn't even hardly act anymore. Well, not in anything good at least, and I'm a sexy Wal-Mart model who has to order escorts. And by "order escorts" I mean "masturbate on the faces of women who pass out drunk at my apartment."

Posted by Unknown at 7/06/2006  

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