Lindsay Lohan Is Dating A Ugly Snowboarder

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Reports have confirmed that actress Lindsay Lohan and Olympic gold medalist Shaun White went on a date Tuesday night at the New York club Bungalow 8. White is bragging to everyone that he tagged her. (Cough)Went on a date with her.

White, who would be considered the ugly kid at a leper colony, said: "Her and I ended up meeting up at the famous Bungalow 8. It was a good time. It was a trip. Coming home from Italy, everybody's been running up to me, saying how proud they are. It's been crazy and so I had to get some time to have fun."


I think I have to have sex with Lindsay just on principle. If someone as ugly as this kid can go on dates with actresses, than I'm just wasting my time dating strippers, college girls, and IV drug users. I know that Lindsay isn't that attractive and her looks are to weak to even grab the attention of a man who just did a 25 year sentence at Alcatraz.

This is a warning: What I am about to show you may be one of the most traumatic experiences in your life, which can only be cured through years of therapy. I can only imagine that cops would compare it to the first time they pull up to a car wreck and see the flesh burning off of a child as they are disfigured to the point of living their life cleaning puke off of rides at carnivals. This isn't a let down like Hostel. Behold, the last person to get into Lindsay's pants.

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Posted by darkhat at 2/23/2006  
10 comments
Anonymous said...

NO WAY she slept with him. She had to feel sorry and just go out on a date with him. Impossible...

10:19 AM  
Anonymous said...

so she's dating napolean dynamite?

10:25 AM  
Anonymous said...

haha that sucks he really does look like him

11:00 AM  
Anonymous said...

PRICELESS!!

11:49 AM  
Anonymous said...

THATS GREAT

1:13 PM  
Anonymous said...

This'll never last because their drugs don't match up. Everyone knows snowboarders smoke pot and hollywood chicks do coke. The drugs should match up.

5:48 PM  
Anonymous said...

Shawn is way above her. Why would he even consider going after such a no talent skank?

7:18 PM  
Anonymous said...

Shaun is too cool to go out with some chick who's had plastic surgery done to her boobs!

2:46 PM  
Anonymous said...

I had no idea that Rocky Dennis from "Mask" had a little brother??

6:00 PM  
Anonymous said...

the dude who wrote this is a total asshat. idunno how ugly shaun is but lindsay lohan is pretty good looking, street hot at the least, better than the two-toothed crackhead the author of this goes out with

6:57 PM  

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