Paris Hilton is out of jail

Thursday, June 07, 2007

After only 3 days, Paris Hilton has finally found a way to get out of jail early. Fucking bitch. Former publicist Jonathon Jaxson says the "health reasons" that forced Paris out of jail early was depression and panic attacks.

Jonathon Jaxson: "This story makes me sick, but I must report it for all you fans. Paris was apparently suffering from severe panic attacks and depression, where she even became suicidal. Towards the end of her stay, Paris began, what others call, a nervous breakdown. Her psychiatrist was so concerned for her well being they did everything possible to get her to a place in which was comfortable for her and her health."

You gotta be kidding me. Considering that I've cured millions of supermodels with panic attacks and depression, I'd say my expert opinion is she was faking it. She's also far from a model. Most models don't look like a piece of sheatrock from the face down. And they have two eyes that work.

Source

Posted by Unknown at 6/07/2007  
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