Lindsay Lohan is nuts

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Lee Weaver, Lindsay Lohan's bodyguard, has decided to quit after two years of hell.

Weaver, claims Lohan: ATTACKED a gun-wielding cocaine dealer for ripping her off. SNORTED line after line with Simple Life star Nicole Richie in a TEN-HOUR binge. SLASHED her wrists with knives, sobbing that she "didn't belong on this planet". ENJOYED frenzied lesbian romps with scores of girls she picked up at parties — and even made a play for chart star Mariah Carey.

Lee went on to say: "I have looked after some of the wildest stars in Hollywood — but never anyone as out of control as Lindsay is."

I can't say I've attacked more than 15 gun-wielding cocaine dealers in my life, but I have to admit, it gets easier with experience. The people of New York look to me for help when their streets are flooded with drugs, and I will never let down the children. Will I ever defeat Comic Jeff and his team of bandits? Maybe.


Posted by Unknown at 6/12/2007  

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