Heather Mills Is Sooo Dead
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
It was revealed yesterday that longtime vegetarian and anti-fur activist, Heather Mills, wore a mink coat - made from up to 40 animals - to a wedding in 1989.
She defended her actions on her personal website, by writing: "'The coat belonged to my mother, who had sadly died just a few days earlier and I wore it as it made me feel close to her.' The animal rights group Bloodlust is enraged by this revelation and Heather has been receiving hate mail covered in fake blood.
You can tell when a group is really smalltime if they need to have a really tuff name, like Bloodlust. That's why my gang is called the The Cake n' Muffin Club, so people don't know how bad we are. But we pack a punch, baby. Myrtle makes lemon square with actual lemon rind and Helen only uses real butter. Then we feed them to poor, homeless people. Right before we set them on fire, that is. Damn hobos.
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