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Paris Hilton was arrested early Thursday morning for suspicion of driving drunk.

The police statement said: ""The officers observed that Hilton exhibited the symptoms of intoxication. A field sobriety test was conducted at scene, and the officers determined she was driving under the influence."

I'm actually shocked that this hasn't happened before, but I'm sure it's because she blows the cops in the wagon in order to get out of her charges. I've never been arrested by a female cop, and I'm confident that I never will. When they come up to my window and say "license and registration," I just pull out my penis and start masturbating. Minutes from then she has me in cuffs, but my charge is "driving while sexy."

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