Oprah Refuses To Come Out Of The Closet

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Movie Database is reporting that the land beast known as Oprah Winfrey has hit back at rumors which claim she's gay.

In the August issue of Winfrey's lifestyle magazine O, she says: "I understand why people think we're gay. There isn't a definition in our culture for this kind of bond between women. So I get why people have to label it: How can you be this close without it being sexual? The truth is, if we were gay, we would tell you, because there's nothing wrong with being gay."

I'm pretty sure that Oprah is trying to tell us she's gay. I don't know why else she would constantly be going out of the way to say she wasn't. It would be like me going to the Zoo the day after the giraffes were stolen and telling the head keeper that I didn't take them. Maybe I didn't, but what am I so worried about then? Well, I obviously took the giraffes, but that's another story for another day. Back to the point: It's a basic fact that fat women, like Oprah, have to be gay. The only exception are one's who are dating fat men. Fat people stick together, sort of like lepers and cancer patients.

Posted by Unknown at 7/18/2006  
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