Angelina Jolie Is Buying Ethiopia
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Entertainment Wise has confirmed that Angelina Jolie has finally bought her own piece of Africa. She is buying an island shaped like Ethiopia. According to the Daily Star, Jolie is planning on creating a fair trade paradise for hundreds, maybe thousands, of poor people.
A source said: “Angelina has been obsessed with Ethiopia ever since she adopted her second child Zahara from there. Her friends are very jealous of her purchase.”
I'm not going to pretend to know as much about "fair trade paradise" as Angelina Jolie, but I would guess it involves a lot of lesbian sex. And when there isn't lesbian sex going on, there's plenty of high priced call girls giving sex out for free. I entertained the idea of buying my own country once or twice, but I never got around to it. Mostly because the island would only consist of mixing human and animal DNA to make a super army, which could take over the world. Obviously, my DNA would be used in the experiments so the animals would have provactive allure with the ladies.