50 Cent Got Paid To Rap At A Bat Mitzvah

Wednesday, November 30, 2005


World renowned gangster rapper 50 cent got paid 500,000 dollars for a half hour rap session at a Bat Mitzvah for the daughter of defense contractor David H. Brooks.



Brooks paid a total of 10 million dollar for the party which included Nelly, Ciara, Tom Petty, Stevie Nicks, Joe Perry and Steven Tyler of Aerosmith, Joe Walsh and Don Henley of The Eagles, Kenny G and DJ AM for the party held at the Rainbow Room in New York City.

I still can't believe I waited all day to post about this. I was waiting for pictures to show up and just when I was about to give up; I found them. 50 cent is suppose to be the tuffest rapper around and he is off rapping for little white Jewish girls? Look at the first picture. 50 Cent extending his hand, getting ready to do a duet with the little girl. I can understand people like Ciara and Arrowsmith going to this thing, but not 50. I wonder how the crack dealers in queens feel about 50 wearing Bat Mitzva celebration hats and playing flash light tag that night. I am sure 50 cent proved his gangster image when they were calling "Red Rover, Red Rover, send 50 Right Over"

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Posted by Unknown at 11/30/2005 6 comments  

Kelly Brook Topless On 26th Birthday

Kelly Brook apparently spent her 26th birthday topless at the beach. Hey, I'm not complaining, this is how I want most girls to spend their 26th birthday. It just seems like the right thing to do.

It's funny that Kelly Brook is so willing to get completely naked at the beach, but she purposely had nude scenes deleted from her upcoming movie 'Three'. Seriously, she made the director take out the nude scenes, but here she is prancing around naked. I don't know why 90 percent of the pictures I find of hot celebrities have some scrub guy in them. Who is this guy and why is he with Kelly Brook. Oh wait, that is Billy Zane. My life really sucks. I don't think I need to tell you these pictures below are NSFW

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Posted by Unknown at 11/30/2005 0 comments  

Ben Affleck Gets Secretly Paid By Starbucks


When I saw this story it just made perfect sense to me and it's because it's true. Ben Affleck and Jennifer Gardner have been seen for the last 6 months always always drinking Starbucks coffee. At first I thought nothing of it, but then the New York Daily News reported this:





"...the caffeinated couple has snagged an exclusive seven-figure contract with Starbucks Coffee Co. to drink, be photographed with and generally promote the popular java around the country. 'It's a relatively new deal,' says the (source). 'And considering how often they are photographed with the stuff, I'd say they're working pretty hard.'"

I am starting to rethink my original claim that this story is true. After reading it a second time, seven figures does seem like a lot of money to pay someone to inadvertently advertise your product. I once accepted money from Vivid to be seen using their "products". The value of their company went through the roof. The only problem was I did NOT get seven figures. I only got 3 balls of lint and a shiny red marble. The marble is nice, though. I think someone told me it was one of the girls anal beads, but I have not yet been able to confirm this.

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Posted by Unknown at 11/30/2005 0 comments  

Mischa Barton Groped On Maui Vacation


Mischa Barton just got back from her Thanksgiving vacation. My Thanksgiving is spent getting drunk and watching football, while insulting my family, but Mischa goes to Maui. Not only is she in Maui, but she is allowing some hippy to grope her. I don't understand what the world is coming to.





Hippies are really just taking all of the good girls nowadays, and even if there not, they are taking Mischa Barton who is a pretty good catch. Does anyone keep track of how often I just post new pictures of girls in bikinis because I have nothing else to write about? Then I write about how I post pictures of celebrities in bikinis while I have nothing to write about. Confused yet? You better be.

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Posted by Unknown at 11/30/2005 1 comments  

George Clooney And Matt Damon Play Grab Ass

Tuesday, November 29, 2005


It has been reported everywhere that Matt Damon admitted in an interview that him and George Clooney love each other's asses. Matt Damon says his 'Syriana' co-star pinches his butt at least once a day. Damon admits Clooney's sexual advances are the reason why the pair have starred in so many films together. He had this to say:



"George grabs my ass every day. At least once a day. That's why I've done three movies with him"

I'm not going to sit here and act like I have never grabbed another mans ass before but, well that's exactly what I'm going to do. I have never once grabbed another mans ass. It is simple. I am not gay. I have no reason to play grab ass with my guy friends and throw sexual innuendos into the conversation. These two are not just looking for attention. I am convinced they are looking for hardcore anal sex. Now that I know the truth it just makes perfect sense. I always knew these to were a "little to friendly" and this just confirms it.

Posted by Unknown at 11/29/2005 2 comments  

Jack Osbourne Dating Homeless Girl


Jack Osbourne has found that being the son of someone famous can get you dates with homeless women. Jack Osbourne must of picked this girl up right outside Grand Central Station when she was asking him for 25 cents. She could have been asking or offering oral sex for it; I really don't know.




Judging from the pictures, they spend the majority of their time eating and walking to go eat. I'm surprised Jack doesn't use his inheritance to build a nonstop escalator to get from place to place. It only seems natural that someone like that would have fancy rich things that allow you to be more fat. Well, I guess I just hope Jack is happy with the life he has made for himself. He should really try and lay off those chilly fries. Not in front of the girl Jack, not in front of the girl.

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Posted by Unknown at 11/29/2005 0 comments  

Courtney Cox Writing Sitcom For Husband David


Reports are saying there is a new sitcom coming up which is written and produced by Courntey Cox and David Arquette. Before you say this is a horrible idea, let me just give you more reason to believe this.


Courtney will be executive producer of the show while husband David will be the main star. The sitcom will focus on a private investigator whose life changes when his 10-year-old son and ex-wife come back to the town where he lives after eight years. Amazingly, Jeremy Stevens, the writer-producer of hit sitcom, 'Everybody Loves Raymond' will be helping them out with this project.

Am I the only one who knows that David Arquette can't act? I guess love does all kinds of amazing things for people. Courtney Cox really can't see that David has no talent. His status has quickly fallen ever since he lost the WCW championship belt. Yes, he really was the champion for a while.

Posted by Unknown at 11/29/2005 0 comments  

50 Cent And Queen Mashup: Q-UNIT

It seems like ever since The Green Album was released people have been meshing together the weirdest CDs. This is a combination of 50 Cent and Queen. I haven't listened to it myself, but I can only imagine that it really sucks.



Not only is something like this real, but I actually have the link so you can download it here (Q-Unit Official Download). This link probably won't work anymore since the traffic is destroying its bandwidth. I found a very good mirror which you can download here ( Q-Unite Mirror Download).


If your like me and don't have the time to download the CD, you can just laugh at the picture of 50 cent they are promoting the CD with. 50 Cent with the crazy mustache.

Posted by Unknown at 11/29/2005 0 comments  

Tara Reid Is Sober In Public!?


Tara Reid went out to lunch a few days ago with some friends and the world was shocked. Tara Reid was sober my friends; yes, sober as a bird.




There are many people in the world today that didn't think something like this was possible. I have consulted many celebrity analysts to see whether or not these pictures are real; and they are, in fact, real. I didn't believe it myself in the beginning. Tara Reid is usually seen with puke on her shirt and wearing the same pants from the day before as she wakes up puking next to a dumpster in an alley. However, she has once again shocked the world just like the blow job scene in American Pie. Years from now people will talk about this event. Your children will only believe you with the proof of these pictures.

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Posted by Unknown at 11/29/2005 0 comments  

April Scott December 05 Maxim Photo Shoot

Monday, November 28, 2005



A few days ago I posted the Cindy Crawford pictures from the December Maxim. Even though Cindy was on the cover, the hottest photo shoot in there is April Scott. If you don't know who April Scott is, she has a pretty decent role in the upcoming Mission Impossible 3.




To be perfectly honest, I haven't masturbated to these pictures yet. And I made sure to use the word "yet" just so there isn't any confusion. If I don't have anymore posts today, consider me having a masturbation marathon with these alluring and provocative pictures of April Scott. Why did Maxim put Cindy Crawford on the cover of this issue? The world may never know.

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Posted by Unknown at 11/28/2005 0 comments  

Janet Jackson Is Still Really Fat



I'll just start off by saying "yes this is Janet Jackson" and " Yes, she is still really really fat." Janet Jackson still hasn't lost that weight she has put on in the last 2 years. I admit she use to be kinda hot, but those days are gone forever.



The only pictures of Janet Jackson that ever surface involve her eating, being fat, or her eating while being fat. And also getting fatter as she eats more. Any combination of her being "fat" and "eating" works fine. It's like a math problem. No matter what you put first the end result is still a fat Janet Jackson. I hope she isn't spending a lot on that personal trainer because she had that same guy a few months back and still looks just as big. She should just give up and pay for some lipo. Oh wait, she's broke.

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Posted by Unknown at 11/28/2005 0 comments  

Antonio Banderas Dresses As Zorro During Sex


Antonio Banderas has admitted to wearing his Zorro costume while having sex with his wife Melonie Grifith. Banderas was quoted sating that:




"“I kept the mask after filming and I do wear it sometimes when we are together. Melanie loves it. You can work out the rest."

I can see Antonio now, dressing up and running around with a sword. He is making a fool out of himself for Melonie Grifith. She really isn't that hot. If you put a Hyena in a room with her, I don't think I would be able to tell which one was which. Luckily, I am not Antonio Banderas, because he even knows his own wife is beat. He has to dress up in costumes in role play just to get a hard on.

Posted by Unknown at 11/28/2005 0 comments  

Kate Hudson Quitting Acting To Make Lotion



I normally wouldn't waste my time posting about a C-Rated actress that wants to quit, but the reason is ridiculous. Kate Hudson wants to leave her mediocre career to make handmade lotions. No shit, here's the quote, which comes from Pedia:




"Every day I tell my husband, maybe we should cash in. I'll make handmade lotions and you can write music and sell it on the Internet'."

That just sounds like a great plan Kate. Kate Hudson's only real claim to fame is that Goldi Hawn is her mother, and trust me, that's nothing to be proud of. The only thing I like about Kate Hudson is the fact that she has some killer legs. Everytime I start thinking about how Kate sucks bad enough at acting that she would consider quitting to make lotions, I just look at these pictures. I see those legs and think to myself "You still are a terrible actress, Kate" but you do have some nice legs. Well, nice for the daughter of Goldi Hawn.

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Posted by Unknown at 11/28/2005 0 comments  

Charlize Theron Weekend At The Beach

Friday, November 25, 2005



Well, Charlize Theron was cavorting this weekend at the beach with her boyfriend Stuart Townsend, and her dog. It is a little difficult to tell the difference between Stuart and the dog, but just try and look close. Suart is the one with two legs.





I really don't have a good punch line for this post or anything. Not that I normally would anyway, but Charlize Theron can be very hot. It's funny because she is like a real life X-man. She has some kind of mutant power to shape shift whenever she wants. Sometimes she is uglier than Oprah, and sometimes she is as hot as Scarlett. Well, I won't go that far, but she can be hot while lounging on the beach.

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Posted by Unknown at 11/25/2005 0 comments  

George Clooney Fights Snakes


FF
is reporting that George Clooney beat a rattlesnake to death after it attacked his beloved dog. The Hollywood heartthrob was due to start filming new movie 'Syriana' when the vicious snake pounced on his pooch. George Clooney had this to say about his experience:





"On my way to Morocco, leaving my house, there was a rattlesnake wrapped around my dog with its teeth in the back of his head. I had to get a baseball bat and beat the snake until it let go, but it killed the dog. That was the last thing the dog saw, me beating a snake with a bat. "

George Clooney has just earned some extra "rep" points in my book. I just marked it off for a plus 5. I remember the days when I use to go on hunts in Morocco for anacondas. It was a scary time in my life, but I never used a bat. When I saw one of those snakes I would simply choke it out. I would hook it into the katazahazi submission and the last thing it remembered was me trash talking. " You got that Slizzy??? you an't got nothing on me!"

Posted by Unknown at 11/25/2005 0 comments  

Jessica and Nick Officially Separate


It is official as reports are flooding in that Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey have separated for good. After three years of marriage, the couple jointly announced their separation Wednesday, their publicists Meredith O'’Sullivan and Rob Shooter confirmed:





"After three years of marriage, and careful thought and consideration, we have decided to part ways. This is the mutual decision of two people with an enormous amount of respect and admiration for each other. We hope that you respect our privacy during this difficult time."

Well, it's about time Jessica finally saw through that sham husband of her's. Jessica Simpson can now move on to more interesting things, like dildo shows for me, or something like that. Anyways, this is really only restating the obvious. Everybody knew these two were ready to split and it is just official now.

Posted by Unknown at 11/25/2005 1 comments  

Jessica Alba Heats Up Vanity Fair

Thursday, November 24, 2005



This is the new Jessica Alba Vanity Fair photo shoot. I figured I would post it since she looks killer hot in these pictures. There really isn't any important news with her, so I am really just delaying until you stop reading this post.





Jessica Alba is one of those girls that can be very hot when she wants to be. She is down with fetish porn and that makes her even hotter. If she tries to play the cute girlfriend stuff, I am always ready to play the cute punch in the stomach game. Jessica Alba needs to remain as the "I want to have sex with her" girl and not the " I want to cuddle with her" girl. Listen, If i want to cuddle with a girl then I will just get a girlfriend. If I want the crazy seductive girl, I should be able to look at Jessica Alba.

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Posted by Unknown at 11/24/2005 1 comments